Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
