I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
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Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
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Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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