chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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