how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
