i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
