I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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