I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
