look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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