wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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