turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
