can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
