i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
