Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
