One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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