no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
