Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
