party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
