good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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