i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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