I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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