i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
