I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
