oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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