My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Slut skills are useful in every country.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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