So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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