I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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