the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
