it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I lost the right to judge tonight
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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