I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
