He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
