how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Pooping to opera.
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