Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
