yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
