Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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