that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
