also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
