His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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