once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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