Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
