belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
