Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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