did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
