I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
