Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
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I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
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You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Is Oprah even human
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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