You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize