Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize