i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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