Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
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Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
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