.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
