I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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