Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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