We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
i think my cat just said my name.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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