You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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