At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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