i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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