I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
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