first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i just google imaged poop.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Barsexuality is the new black.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
