I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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