i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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