Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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