oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
