He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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