Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I touched a dick in church today
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